Lie lie lie.

Ive made my decision to stop liking you , to stop having any kind of feelings for you and just being done with you.

Ive decided to stop calling you, stop texting you and stop wishing my phone will be receiving anything from you, although it really hurts and my heart skips a beat when my phone rings and hoping its you.

Im trying to live my life without having you around. Studying without you. Going out without you. Trying to have fun without you. Trying to not to think about you. Trying not to think how fun this will be if u were around.

How do i go on? I know its possible but its freaking hurts. Im so used to have you around. And now, everything is different. I felt like there's a huge hole, some kind of emptiness in my heart, in my life.

Bullshit if i say i dont have any feelings for you, after what had happened. Even though you see me being all tough and strong but deep down inside, im broken, broken into pieces. Faking smiles every day. Faking laughs everyday. Im living in a huge lie right now.

I have a small feeling in my heart, telling me 'come on ili, give him another chance'. Oh how much i want to do that but i have to protect myself now. I have to think about me, now. Being with you, it gave me such happiness that i couldn't describe. Also at the same time, killing me slowly because i know u don't feel the same way as i do. I am chasing someone that is chasing another girl. How pathetic is that? How pathetic am i?

Paranoid Again

I dont know why
Sometimes, in random days,
I woke up, and my mood is all BAD and NEGATIVE.
Really reaaaally negative energy all over me, 
Ill get mad at the people around me.
Poor them, being the victim of my cruel cruel actions.
Im sorry :(


I dont know why,
If i went out with my friends,
It took me some time to cheer up and be crazy.
And there are times ill be quiet,
Cranky and just MOODY.
Then ill be cheerful back again.
Its weird, i really dont know why.


But I do know why,
When i go out with him,
Im always in my best-est mood,
But when i know the day comes to an end,
When it comes to the "goodbye" part,
Ill be moody and cranky a few minutes beforehand.
This, i can understand.
But the others, i just cant.


I feel like im a party killer.
Me with my mood swings, 
Like pushing people and cause them to flew away
So very very far away.


I sometimes feels like, some of my friends dont fond for me.
They rather not invite me to hang out with them
Or join their parties.
Or am i just being paranoid? I DONT KNOW.


Why am i being paranoid?
I REALLY DONT KNOW.
I have such good friends.
Good lovely caring friends.
AWESOME and loving family.

miss miss

I miss you!




Come home quick pleaaaseeeeee  =D

:D

AWAK,

Take care! Have fun!
I will not be seeing or contacting you for a few days!
BOO. Haha.
Stay safe okay.
Please God, take gooooood care of him :) 

TOMOI!

25th June 2011


The date that i will remember all my life.


We've planned to go and watch Muy Thai or how do u spell it at Titiwangsa Stadium.
So he picked me up around 6.30 and off we go. 
Then we arrived at the Tasik Titiwangsa and was anxious to watch the game.


I have this picture in my head taking pictures with the bloody boxers, picturing their tooth flying out 
from their mouth while boxing, blood spraying at our faces while we watch they fight each other.
OMG, super fun! HAHAH. 

So then we've drove around the Tasik to find the very-small-tiny-okay-not-tiny-but-small
stadium. He asked the guard there if there is any tix still available,
and the HUNKY guard said OH BANYAK LAGII.


And so we went to petronas to pray and drove back in. Since we both know there wont be
any parking lot near the stadium, so we parked near the entrance. And decided to walk.
He asked the guy selling some food there on how to get to the stadium and he said , GO THERE AND WALK FOR AROUND 15 MINS, YOU'LL FIND IT BY THEN. And so we walked.
And walked, and walked.
HOMAIGOD, almost each and every one bench at the Tasik, 
couples tengah beerendek. HAHAHAHAHA :O


Okaaaayyy then we walked for like 30 45 minutes and we gave up. 
We're lost and he was like "I HAVE NO MORE MOOD FOR TOMOI".
And i was super hungry. So we've decided to go for dinner instead.
After some walking, AT LAST we found the stadium and it was packed with,well, mostly were KELANTANESE  people. Still, because of the time wasted and i have to go home early,
so we just went back to our car. 


When we're about to get to out car, it turns out the stadium was like YA-ALLAH-SUPER-DUPER-LUPER-NUPER-NEARRRRR to our parking lot. 
OMG. OMG. OMG.
Stupid pakcik gave us the wrong direction!! 
He was like moody cause he's all sweating and tired.
So HAHA bo hoo, we drove back home. Haih. 


In the car, the only way to prevent me from crying was just to LAUGH OUT LOUD for whatever had happened. Then he asked, KENAPA GELAK? I said, this was a , hmm, CRAZY experience. Hahha
So yeah, that was what had happened on the 25th of July 2011.
The date i will remember, always :)

Hope there will be another TOMOI that he and i can watch together later on :D

DR LOVE :B

I dont know why but im like PRETTY GOOD in giving people advises on LOVE.
But as usual, me myself SUCK at it! Hahah. Here are some of my friends problem
that they shared with me. I want to share it with the world cause sometimes, we
are blinded when we love someone and we just need to SHAKE the person 
so that she/he will come back to his/her consciousness! haha


First Case.
I cant reveal any names here cause im bounded by confidentiality. Haha 
He's my good good friend from UiTM and somehow, he always get this
nasty-ass-problematic girls, and i PITY him cause he is SUPER DUPER 
SWEET and kind and funny and caring and smart and cute and.. okay this list 
can go on and on and on. But you get my point, he is AWESOME! 


Here are my theories :
1. Try your hardest to get whatever that you want
2. Dont push it too hard cause you will annoy her
3. Dont ever make assumptions that she knows what or how u feels
4. Better if you just go up front and tell the girl I LIKE U. But in a subtle way of course.
5. This is the last resort. When you think there is no more chance, 
    and you feels like putting your white flags up,
    just do whatever you want to do and say what you want to say. 
   You've got nothing to lose. Just do it and get it over with.  


My ultimate advice, TRY your best and i know u know what u should do :) 


Second case
You love your boyfiee and its been 9 amazing awesome months together.
Suddenly one day you found out your amazing boifee have another girlfee.
You were heart broken, u were damaged, you've cried a river and 
all-those-sad-i-want-to-kill-myself-shit for a few months.
Now a new guy is coming into your life and also your ex boyfiee wants you back.
The thing is, your ex boyfiee is still with his current girlfiee, WTH RIGHT?
He've been giving all this sweet promises saying that "i will leave my gf for you"
shit. And this new guy is super sweet and adorable, but you just met him.


What should you do?
OMG THIS IS SUPER EASY!
1. Cant you see ur ex boyfiee is doing the same thing, but to another person??
2. There is like a 100000 % chance he will do the same thing, again, to you.
3. Give this new dude a chance, women! 
4. LET THE BEST MEN WINS! Its a fair chance, fair game :)


My ultimate advice, YES love is blind but loving someone is up to certain limits people!

Its true :)

Oh how i wished for my phone to sing YOU GOT ME right now.
I miss u, very much. Its only been a few days since we've last met 
but somehow, i really misses u. Boo ily! haha


I just felt something the other day, when we talked on the phone,
i get this weird-happy-awesome feeling,
that people called ANGAW. haha. Boo ily, again! ahah


I dont know what to do,
sometimes im just scared that i like u a little too much,
and its not flowing both ways. Do you got me?
Its kind of hard to explain, but that is what i felt.
But what i do know is i DO REALLY LIKE U.


Love? 
What is love? How do you differentiate between 
liking someone and loving someone?
Is it when i cant find words to express my feelings?
Or when he did something, and i felt like im flying?
Or in some crazy unthinkable impossible way, when im with you, i feel 
like the time is moving very slow and fast at the same time?
Its inane but its true.
Its undefinable but its true.
Its absurd but ITS TRUE ;D

                
                                                   i miss u i miss u i miss u!