Him

My heart hurts
Do u know how it feels like to want something but u cant get it.
Even though it is right in front of u.

U felt like uve screamed ur lungs out but he cant hear it.
U felt like uve cried a river and u r drowning but he is not.
U felt like there was an explosion in ur heart but he didnt hear.

Its hard to explain what just happened.
I cant belive that i did that.
Me?ili?illi liyana ank pakcik romli?
I dont know from where i had the courage to do that.

But at some point, i am proud of my self for doin that.
People always says that not many people have the strength and courage to do that.
Even waney said that MY ILI DAH BESAR.
She said because back then i used to cry, a lot.
And now im a strong. i feel strong. i know i am strong.

In this case,
Im not sure what i should do.
Because
Im happy when im with him.
I felt like i want to spend a hell of a time with him.
I felt safe and taken cared of whenever im with him.

But its wrong.
No,no ily.
I have to accept the fact that it is impossible.
No ily, no.