We Can Only Plan.

See how things work in life.
U got the power to make a choice.
What u want to do today.
What are your plans.
Where u want to go.
But everything turns out wrong today.
Even though I've planned for today, but not one turns out right.
I've woke up early, with the intention to go and study before my class started at 2.
I quickly packed up my clothes and books.
Then Mama asked me to drop her at Prade to change Mohd's jeans.
Me, Adam and Mama went there around 11. 
Turns out, the shop is not yet open. DAMN. 
We've waited until 11.15, still not open.
Mama decided to go again later evening.
And she said, lets go and check your car.
My baby Gen2 is making weird noises. 
So we went there and turns out my there's some problem with my MOTOR FAN.
He said i cant drive my baby Gen2 for far distance. 
Ive asked, Shah Alam? He said, better not. 
DAMN DAMN DAMN. 
So Abg Apai just called Kumar to pick up my car and send it for repair for the total of RM580!
OMG.Nearly half a thousand just flew away like that, in a blink of an eye.
Thats why we need to save our money! Haha.
So now, Im waiting for Thina to pick me up and we are going to Uitm together.
Thank God she's still in Subang.
See people.
We humans can only plan.
But what really happen in our life, its HIS decision.
All we can do is be patient
Accept the fate.
Be happy with it.
Hhaha.

Paranoid!

Have u ever had the feeling
The feeling when u no longer like someone
When everything she does , is just wrong
Everything that she does , u felt annoyed
Even the smallest thing , that had never thought would be a problem , u felt like its a huge problem .
Im scared of that.
That's what i felt when i no longer have feelings for someone.
And now i felt like someone is doing all these things to me.
Or am i just being paranoid? 
Im not so sure.
But what i do know is, now its different.
Its totally different, i can feel it.
Whats wrong? 
What went wrong?
Have i done something that bother's u?
Or am i suffocating u? 

BEL 313?!

So many things happened recently and i just dont know where to begin. What i do know right now is that i HATE BEL 313. Why on earth do we have to take that subject? I have no idea! It has nothing to do with our life, for god sake!


I really really hate BEL but i got to be patient and just go with it. The main problem that i have with that subject is MAINLY the lecturer. Maybe its because its her first time being a lecturer, she's treating us like we are some kind of high school kids! OMG. It freaking inane! We are 21 years old. Yes, we are old enough to make our own decision and live the way we live.


Now im even scared to go to the loo's and wondering if i have to ask for her permission. We cant eat in class, we cant talk, she's just, haih, i cant explain what i feel. Every time i entered the class, in the morning in fact, before going to the class, ill ensure that there's nothing else is the morning is gonna ruin my mood. Avoiding all the PAK GUARDS in Menara and so i park at Seroja and i have to walk all the way up the TONGGEK hill which is LIKE HELL! 


I love learning English, but i think ive had enough when i went to Cambridge. Mind some of my grammar mistakes, thats just because its been super long i haven't write a long full English essay. Other than Audit subject where mostly are the facts that we have to talk about. Haha. Oh and the other thing is, im not good working with other people. 


You see, i think im the bossy type. Some say its good characteristic but some say its ANNOYING! I know, im sorry but thats just me. Haha. So, Bel is the only subject we have group work, and its hard. I dont like and dont know how to work with other people. I rather do it all by myself, but of course, with the help of my friends. The idea of segregating duties to teammates is just hard. Oh well, its good actually, for me especially  because i can learn how to deal and work WITH people. HAHA.


Now we are going to have a debate, YAY! I love talking and craping in front of the class! Haha. Thats the only thing im looking forward too! Hee. Hope for the best for my team! Hope everything will turns out GREAT! ;D

Perasaan Saya

Kadang-kadang awak ada.
Kadang-kadang awak tak ada.


Kadang-kadang awak suka
Kadang-kadang awak tak ada perasaan lagsung


Kadang-kadang awak nak
Kadang-kadang awak sendiri pun tak tahu awak nak ke tak


Kadang-kadang saya rasa macam nak berhenti
Kadang-kadang saya nak sangat teruskan


Awak suka buat saya macam ini
Terkapai-kapai dalam air
Macam main tarik tali
Kejap nak kejap tak nak
Tapi kenapa saya degil sangat
Tak reti nak berhenti
Dan lepaskan segalanya?


Dah terbiasa dengan keadaan dulu
Bila tak ada,
Rasa pelik
Bila jumpa
Pun rasa pelik
Perangai semacam
Masing-masing buat hal sendiri
Macam tak pernah kenal


Sakit hati?
Tak payah cakap
Bila terfikir
Jantung berdegup laju
Geram?
Sakit hati?
Menyampah?
Apa sebab pun saya tak tahu


Menyesal?
Entah. Saya pun tengah fikir
Saya menyesal ke?
Saya menyesal ke?
Kenal dia, tak.
Tindakan saya, ya.
Kenangan dengan dia, tak.


Kalau saya tak melakukan apa yang saya lakukan,
Kita mungkin akan lebih gembira
Saya lebih gembira
Sebab tak rasa macam saya "beban" awak
Sebab tak perlu letak harapan kat awak
Sebab saya tak kan jadi macam ni
Macam orang bodoh
Kejar benda yang macam tak boleh kecapi
Lagi susah lagi nak
Lagi orang kata jangan, lagi nak buat


Nak buat macam mana?
Hmm.

Dissapointment

I was thinking. I always put hope on people. When im close to someone, I thought I can rely on that person. But how does that works if you are the only one that felt you are close with that person?           

Im  done with putting hope on people. On my best friends, or people that I thought they are my best friends, can sometime be disappointing. I was hoping for something but they couldn’t care less. Am I invisible here? Or am I just not that worth it to be appreciated? 

I want to just disappear, sometimes. Wanting to just shut down and hope that I am invisible so that people wont notice me and so they wont come and talk to me. Running away from people. Running away from all of my problems. Just run far far away and im sure people wont even notice im gone.

The disappointment that I felt is really killing me. It kills my mood of, it kills my day throughout. I once think to myself, to not put hope on anyone, friends, close friends, families, everyone. The result is always the same and im the one that’s hurt and they didn’t even notice that they are killing me, inside. 

:)

Thinking of you
by Sarah

You're the first thing I think of
Each morning when I rise
You're the last thing I think of
When I close my eyes

You're in each thought I have
And every breath I take
My feelings are growing stronger
With every move you make

You're an angel from above
who takes away my pain
My love for you is so strong
It's always just the same

You're the miracle in my life
Who can always make me smile
Just knowing that you care
Makes my life worth-while

You've touched my heart and soul
Which you have from the start
Your warm soft words
Will never leave my heart

You are everything I want
You're so pure and true
I love you with everything I have
And I love everything that you do.

No backbone?

Give me your opinion

Because i really need one

Some people are so insecure

Of their own man

Scared that ill take him away from you?

Clearly, you dont know me

That is the most stupidest statement ive ever heard

I am a good friend to him

I think and hope so

I guess some friendship are worth to let go

For a relationship that makes he thinks that is worth it

Does that make sense?  

I pity the girl

Feeling all insecure all the time

Having to put a spy on his guy

Just to ensure that his guy is not cheating on her

And the guy just accept it

I also pity the guy

Dont you have a backbone?

You really have to follow what your girl said?

You really just gonna sit and stare

While she's destroying our friendship

That we had build all these years

I guess i wasnt that worth it

To fight for